the eyes on my knees get misty and cruciform from so much time shit-eating
at the pew. by pew i mean my two favorite bathroom tiles, by pew i mean any
god’s green my eyes can get a good grip on. the shit-eating is an ancient
agreement that stipulates i don’t get a say in the menu in exchange for everything
coming up roses, like the menacing rumble in my liver i imagine a doctor would say
is imaginary. i bury every spent pap smear in my freezer of curios right next to ben
& jerry & a bed bug that i kidnapped from the pittsburgh hilton, encased in a
ziplock sarcophagus. is a dead hostage worth anything? you’d think with all the nitrous
paranoia i huff there’d be a graveyard of piss drunk pregnancy tests in the wine fridge,
but it’s more of a schroedinger’s pregnant cat situation. i hold them all for ransom, dead
or alive. my landlord has a generous pet purgatory policy and my plumber loves piss.
i pull my pants down wherever, buckle my knees and bleed as a joke.
NATALKA FYDYSHYN recently graduated with an MFA from San José State University. She was the 2025 winner of The Academy of American Poets / Virginia de Araujo Prize. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area.
KELANA is a creative studio for experimentation and exploration. Visit at www.kelana.co.
