I.
I’m not afraid
of getting old, carrying cancer-like clumps
of yarrow, being stuck inside ever-thinning skin
and eventually getting my ashes tossed to a winter wind
in a buoyant, clumsy
plume.
I am afraid
of garden spiders and green, thin
snakes, the same ones whose predators are house cats
and pesticides and whose fangs are far less venomous
than my stepfather’s. Sometimes I wish
he drank, to make more
sense of things.
II.
I’m not afraid
of having a 22-year-old with parboiled thoughts
who is smoking the last half of a joint
overcorrect and send his truck into the front
of my blue Subaru Outback at 68 mph. My wife calls me
a city driver, as if I made a pact
of acceptance with cement, its insatiable thirst
for oil and blood.
I am afraid
of clipping my nails too close
to my skin—seeing
my flesh too pink, that little blood, the constant,
pulsing pinprick, like a garden snake’s bite
or the feeling of letting my mother down
when I eloped without her
presence (which cycles
ever-inwards, a sink drain’s
whirlpool).
III.
I’m not afraid
of being alone, being left, being the last
person on the planet, like in the very first
episode of The Twilight Zone. It’s easier for me
to be around my old roommates’ house cats
than to be around my own father. I never know
how to fill the forked
silence.
I am afraid
of one day having my own
child, lengthening the whorl of tired men
who can’t speak, who only bite
the pink flesh of their cheeks.
What do you say to your son
when grief comes like a puppy
with a belly full
of worms?
CHASE (he/him) is a writer and exceptionally amateur baker from the Arkansas River Valley. His work has appeared in Cleaver Magazine, 3Elements Review, Blood Tree Literature, Stirring, Book of Matches, Exposition Review, and Sleet Magazine, among others.
VINCENZO COHEN is an Italian multidisciplinary artist. His production ranges from visual arts to writing and consists in reworking of biographical experiences by exploring cultural, social and environmental content. His devotion for nature, ingrained since childhood, motivates his involvement in environmental awareness art projects.
