Bubble Butt
deep down the crack is a new shopping mall, so happening.
rows of old cemeteries successfully exhumed. AIDS gentrification becomes
Undetectable. lots for ladies parking 24/7. eco-label shelves.
sustainability tags. PrEP pills ready for delivery imported from Bangkok.
thank you for not using plastic bags. 0% installments.
Automatic doors. sparkling like bubble butts. big round and bubbly
and firm and clean. And smooth. hundreds of squats every day ‘til
your thighs cramp up. with or without dumbbells. another one bites the dust
today. CD4 in freefall. his casket gets delivered to the rooftop bar you frequent.
Bubble Butt
di dalam silit ada shopping mall baru yang lagi happening.
barisan pekuburan tua sukses direlokasi. gentrifikasi AIDS menjadi
Undetectable. pelataran ladies parking 24/7. rak-rak eco-label.
tag-tag sustainability. pil-pil PrEP siap delivery impor dari Bangkok.
thank you for not using plastic bags. Cicilan 0%.
Automatic doors. mengilap seperti bubble butts. big round and bubbly
and firm and clean. And smooth. beratus-ratus squats per hari sampai
paha kram. dengan atau tanpa barbell. ada seorang lain lagi yang menerima ajal
hari ini. CD4 terjun bebas. peti matinya dikirim ke rooftop bar langgananmu.
RIP
ma-pa, uncle, aunt, and grandma
all chipped in to buy an altar
that’d be hung in a corner of the living room
along with a photo of mine that’s been deliberately printed in black and white
oranges, fresh pears, and a bowl of rice every weekend
along with the lighting of [ gunung kawi ] joss sticks
to keep my soul warm in the corridor of afterlife
even though I was clearly sitting in peace at the kitchen table
as I waited to mix the [ kornet ] into my boiling [ indomie ]
before returning to my room to complete the ascetic ritual
of reverting back to my human form, a demon no longer
waiting for change at the check-out lines of supermarkets and coffee shops
spitting out their unsweetened americanos back into tote bags:
the stingy slithery slit-eyed one
expecting nothing less than the full amount
when the world refuses to change, the only way to survive
is to be a chameleon
when I’d successfully graduated cum laude
from my ascetic practice, ma-pa brings fresh flowers
as a farewell token:
“Go away as far as possible. This country will never be satisfied
in betraying itself.”
RIP
bapak-ibu, paman, bibi, dan nenek
urunan membeli sebuah altar
yang digantung pada sudut ruang tamu
bersama fotoku yang sengaja dicetak hitam putih
jeruk, pir segar, dan semangkuk nasi setiap akhir minggu
dibakar bersama hio gunung kawi
supaya rohku tak kedinginan di koridor akhirat
padahal aku jelas-jelas duduk anteng di meja dapur
sembari menunggu rebusan indomie siap untuk diaduk dengan kornet
sebelum kembali lagi ke kamar untuk menggenapi pertapaanku
agar wujudku sempurna, bukan lagi seekor siluman
di supermarket dan coffee shop saat mengantre uang kembalian
orang-orang melepeh kembali americano tanpa gula dari kresek belanja:
si mata sipit pelit melilit
selalu minta kembalian tak kurang
ketika dunia tak sudi berubah, satu-satunya cara agar selamat
adalah dengan menjadi bunglon
saat aku berhasil lulus dengan predikat cum laude
dari ritual pertapaan, ibu-bapak membawakan kembang segar sebagai tanda perpisahan:
“Pergilah sejauh mungkin. Negeri ini tak akan pernah puas
mengkhianati dirinya sendiri.”
Versatile
at an HRC workshop
there are human rights, empowerment, queer, top & bottom
fortunately subtitles are made available
why must we always be required to
stay up to date on Stonewall and Pride
how many can secure American and European visas
without work permits, premium travel insurance, and savings
to afford gay paradise
which unfortunately has been pre-allotted
akin to the nirvana creatively imagined by bigots
third-world travelers are migrants and refugees
if white-skinned then automatically expatriates and smart
cogito ergo sum
pity, for you are dark brown
with built shoulders and buttocks from too much farming
even in your own country at multinational restaurants you are relegated last
in line after the [ bule-bule ]
with spiky heads and [ Bintang ] tees
only when you finally wave
a Visa Platinum Card as though a fashion statement
they all bow in solemn respect of
you being Queen B,
also Queen Bey
not side-piece
not money boy
not [ bule ] hunter
even if in bed
you’re still very much
a power bottom.
Versatile
di sebuah workshop HAM
ada human rights, empowerment, queer, top & bottom
untung saja dikasih subtitle
mengapa kita setiap hari harus dituntut untuk
senantiasa up to date tentang Stonewall dan Pride
berapa banyak yang bisa meraih visa Amerika dan Eropa
tanpa surat keterangan kerja, paket asuransi perjalanan, dan tabungan
untuk bisa menikmati gay paradise
yang sialnya sudah punya kavlingnya sendiri-sendiri
mirip seperti nirwana imajinasi kreatif para bigot
pelancong negeri dunia ketiga adalah migran dan pengungsi
bila berkulit putih maka otomatis ekspatriat dan smart
cogito ergo sum
sayangnya, kau berkulit cokelat matang
dengan bahu dan pantat berotot seperti keseringan nyawah
bahkan di negeri sendiri kau sengaja ditaruh di antrean terakhir
restoran multinasional
sehabis bule-bule
berkepala landak, berkutang Bir Bintang
hanya saat kau akhirnya melambaikan
Visa Platinum Card sebagai sebuah fashion statement
mereka semua menunduk khidmat penuh hormat
bahwa kau adalah Queen B,
juga Queen Bey
bukan selir
bukan money boy
bukan bule hunter
meski di atas ranjang
jati dirimu tetaplah
power bottom.
ENDNOTES
Bubble Butt
- CD4: a type of white blood cell (lymphocyte) that functions to maintain our body’s immunity. When infected with HIV, without proper treatment, CD4 levels will decrease so that the body’s immunity also decreases.
RIP
- [ Gunung kawi ]: A local joss stick brand.
- [ Kornet ]: An Indonesian term referring to corned beef.
Versatile
- [ bule ]: An Indonesian colloquial and dismissive term to describe foreigners, specifically Caucasians.
- [ Bintang ]: A local beer brand.
The original poems in this document are published as a full-length collection Stonewall Tak Mampir di Atlantis (translation: There’s No Stonewall in Atlantis) by Indonesian publisher “Buku Mojok Grup” in 2020 (ISBN # 978-623-91089-9-1).
HENDRI YULIUS WIYAJA [ poet ] is an Indonesian writer and researcher on gender, sexuality, cultural politics, and sustainability. He has extensively written and provided commentaries on Indonesian anti-LGBTQ+ panics and queer movements for various national and international media outlets. His academic research focuses on the development of Indonesian queer activism from the 1980s to the present, anti-LGBTQ+ panics, pornography, and sustainability, among other topics. He is also the co-editor of Queer Southeast Asia (Routledge, 2022). For his long-term engagement with LGBTQ+ rights and sustainability issues, he was invited to deliver the 2023 Tomlinson Memorial Lecture at Nottingham University in the UK. Stonewall Tak Mampir Di Atlantis is his debut full-length poetry collection.
EDWARD GUNAWAN [ translator ] is a Bay Area-based writer, translator, and curator. The author of chapbooks: The Way Back (winner of Start a Riot! Prize, Foglifter Press, 2022) and Press Play (Sweet Lit, 2020), Edward has also published his writing in TriQuarterly, Aquifer, and The Town anthology (Nomadic Press, 2023). An Indonesian-born Chinese queer immigrant, Edward serves as the founder and lead organizer of HOME MADE @ ARTogether.
JASPER GLEN is a poet and artist from Vancouver. His work appears or is forthcoming in Posit, A Gathering of the Tribes, The Brooklyn Review, BlazeVOX, Rogue Agent, Quadrant, Another Chicago Magazine, and elsewhere. Poems have been nominated for Best New Poets and the Pushcart Prize.
